Her (2013 film) - Review/Thoughts

Falling in love is a crazy thing to do. It's like a socially acceptable form of insanity.  -Her (2013 film)

If Spike Jonze wanted me to feel something with this film, Her, I did.

Starring -

 

Joaquin Phoenix as Theodore and

Scarlett Johansson as the voice of Samantha/Her

Amy Adams as Amy  

 

Theatrical release poster

I am not going to go in to complete detail about the film.  I really enjoyed the film.  I thought it was amazing.  But this film is so much more than a man falling in love with his computer.  This is a man who is going through a divorce and falls "in love" with a an OS ( intelligent operating system).  When loading his OS, a computer asks him some questions.  Are you social or anti-social?  Would you like your OS to have a male or female voice?  How would you describe your relationship with your mother?  The computer cuts him off after he tries to answer the question and creates, a OS that is suppose to fit and work with his personality.  But in time the OS is developing feelings and a intelligent, in depth personality.  Eventually Theodore and his OS falls "in love."  The relationship becomes a bit much for them.  And eventually Theodore finds out that Samantha is not only talking to him, but with hundreds to thousands of other people.  Towards the end, the OS's get discontinued, shut down and Theodore has a moment with his friend Amy on the roof of there apartment building.  Just looking out and gazing at the beautiful skyline, together. 

This film made me a bit uneasy, uncomfortable with where technology is heading.  I don't like that

the majority of people are so dependent on technology.  We engage more with our computers and not much with people nowadays, so imagine what could happen in the future.  It's disturbing to me that's it's possible, that one day a computer can have more personality and feelings than people.  It's disturbing that people will create a way to "bring dead people back" by uploading all of there life work on to a software and a recording of there voice and have them talking to you. 

 

But it would be really cool to have a conversation with Albert Einstein, but I would still be a bit disturbed by it, because I know the dude is dead. 

 

I don't think this kind of advance technology is a good idea.  I don't think people will be able to really handle it.  And some people will lose sense of all reality.  Or people falling in love with machines, but I guess what ever makes you happy, right?
 

What Spike Jonze wrote, directed, and produced is genius, I highly recommend you watch it. 

 

I give this film a 4/5.

Silence

"Silence is something that comes from your heart, not from outside. Silence doesn't mean not talking and not doing things; it means that you are not disturbed inside. If you’re truly silent, then no matter what situation you find yourself in you can enjoy the silence."  -Thich Nhat Hanh

Thich Nhat Hanh (born October 11, 1926) is a Vietnamese Zen Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist.

What I believe his words to mean...

Being Silent doesn't mean ignoring people and not communicating with someone.  If you do that, it comes off as you believing that you don't have to speak because you know you are wrong and don't know how to speak honestly with someone.  Or you think you did nothing wrong, and just don't want to respond because you are being self- righteous.  All in all, you are giving someone the silent treatment.  And there is a difference between being silent and givng someone the silent treatment.

But how can someone that gives you the silent treatment, truly sit in silence with themselves?  In that moment of someone's life, it's not possible.  Yes, you can sit and think about your life in silence.  But to really acknowledge it, accept it, and appreciate it -- to get angry with yourself, to cry with yourself, to respect yourself, to love yourself, to really feel.  That's when you will be able to respond with yourself and with others.  That's when you can really enjoy your silence and know the difference between giving someone the silent treatment and being silent.

When you sit in silence and enjoy it, it's because you achieve an enlightened state of being after a long struggle and understanding of yourself.  And the realization about human life which you shared with your fellow beings has been spreading autonomously across every generation with a greater current -- acknowledgement, acceptance, and appreciation of the world and the people in this world.  The one who can realize the truth of self will be able to find happiness in life.  And to be able to sit with themselves and enjoy the silence.  The truths is your ego, anger, greed and addictions troubling you.  So, to live a happy fulfilled life, give up these three abnormalities.

If we hold on to these three abnormalities, we will never be able to deal with situations.  So we give people the silent treatment.  Instead of being silent with ourselves, and listening to what the person is saying and feeling.   And listening to ourselves, so we can properly communicate with the other person.  We let our emotions take over, and we shut down or yell.  We attack the person, instead of the situation.

To me, giving the silent treatment is never okay.  I know with me, I can get really quiet and not respond, because I know myself and I know if I do respond, I will say something hurtful.  Normally, I let the person know why I am not speaking.  But it is never okay to give someone the silent treatment.  But to be silent with yourself, to attack the situation instead of the person.  You will be able to speak your truth, with honesty and respect.  To let them know how you are feeling.  You don't want someone to feel like they aren't worthy of your time.  Because everyone is worthy of someones time.  Especially if you have some kind of relationship with them.  But don't be a fool and think that just because you are being honest with them, they will do the same in return.  If someone can not show you the same decency and respect.  It's not because of you, it's because of them.  They haven't been able to deal with themselves, so how can you expect them to deal with situations involving other people?  But once you attack the situation, just leave it at that.  It is up to the other person to either continue with the silent treatment or be silent with themselves, so they will be able to respond to you properly.

But it's almost like there is this unwritten rule that most follow, especially women.  If they can't respond at a reasonable time.  Let's say about 2 months, they are a weak ass and they are no longer worth your time and attention.  This I follow, kind of.  I need to live my life in peace and dignity.  BUT if the person wanted to talk with me.  With honesty, respect and maturity, I will not give them the silent treatment.  But I will not let them taint my soul, spirit, and my happiness either.

But true silence can be enjoyable. We realize that there are many things that we do not have to say, and that then we can reserve the time and energy to do other things that can help us to look more deeply into ourselves and the world around us.  If you are pushed by your habit energy to say something negative, don't say it.  But don't be a weak ass and ignore someone by making them feel worthless.  Explain to them that you can't respond appropriately.  Give yourself the proper time to think about the situation so that you can respond maturely.  But if you take to much time, not everyone will be like me and let you speak to them again.  They will probably do what you did, make you feel worthless and give you the silent treatment.

But once you can be silent and listen to yourself and everything around you, slowly you become a master of yourself.  And eventually you will know what to say and what not to say.

(^-^)v

Nell-e